Ekene Moses

I won't make this generational mistake of everything I didn't have; that's what I gave my children.

I'm out here to give myself everything that I didn't have first – so that my children could live their own lives independently.

Children are very ungrateful, complicated, entitled, inconsiderate, demanding, and a typical example of insatiable beings – exaggeratively writing, though.

On the side of the children's view in this debate, I think it is high time they ask parents questions like, “Did we send you to bring us forth? Did we ask you to risk your dreams because you were in a rush to bring us into the world, and lastly, did we ask you to abandon your passion and vision for us, etcetera…?”

Life happens, I know! However, a hungry person should be very considerate and not bring another hungry and vulnerable person into the world.

The world can never get better than this. It can only be more unprecedentedly advanced – full stop!!!


Copyright © Ekene Moses, 2024. All Rights Reserved.

One of the frequent exercises we did in Business School was demonstrating reflection in specific writing tasks or in a ‘reflective’ writing style. This has equipped me with the ability to evaluate and reflect upon my own experiences— and develop critical and analytical thinking skills with them.

I noticed that there are patches of ideas that brought me out of my writing shell to someone who simply writes and posts online for the public to read.

Someone who pours his heart as it is, undiluted. Someone who writes about controversial issues that challenge individuals' perspectives, personal life philosophy and psychology, culture, poetry, professional development and growth tips for young professionals, and most importantly, freely writes as me – without pay.

Before now, I always asked myself if I would still write online if no one ever got paid writing online – and quick to admit it but with fear that I may never be able to since the platform (Medium) I wrote on paid me money monthly and had the potential to earn me a living.

However, after I was banned from the platform for unknowingly defaulting on one of the platform's rules, I realised I needed a platform like this. Where I am not competing for the number of claps or followers with other writers on the platform. Nor do I have to focus on particular topics or writing styles because the algorithm is suggesting and dictating them for me.

And, yes, I could still consistently come online to write and publish my ideas even though I am not making money from doing so.

This took me back to some ideas that inspired my writing and the motivation that pushed me to publish my first blog online. Starting with my story as an online public writer who began from a void of needing to know what was next.

I had recently graduated from university, but my mind was afraid of someday opening a computer to type away my thoughts on the screen, only to find that life had taken its gift of writing from me.

The first point of the call was to publish articles on LinkedIn. A platform that business school has helped me to start growing in popularity among academics and fellow students.

However, before then, there was a fear of loneliness that I was trying to defeat through writing and building a solid online community.

You are not alone in your loneliness | Jonny Sun

I got inspiration from this idea at a moment in my life when I was most vulnerable and feeling particularly lonely. This is the year 2019 when I got an international scholarship to travel to Spain from Africa — my first experience with planes and so much more. And means that I must be separated from every family member and close friends.

Luckily, I came across this TED Talk by writer and artist Jonny Sun. He explained how being open and vulnerable with his worst states (loneliness, sadness, and fear) helps him find comfort and feel less alone.

According to him — telling stories about feeling like an outsider in funny ways helped him to tap into an unexpected community on the internet.

This actually worked for me and still works. I remember most times I would feel like saying ‘Hi’ to everyone on my contact list, which is near impossible. So I took the strategy of posting regularly on my status on social media— and interestingly funny, these were how I managed to hold most of the interesting conversations, even with close friends, family, and strangers.

Watch this Jonny Sun TED Talk

Then, there is another TED Talk on How creative writing can help you through life’s most challenging moments | Sakinah Hofler.

Have you ever seen something and wished you could have said something but didn’t?

In the heart-heat of the Covid-19 pandemic, mind you, I was separated from loved ones and family and then cut off from places where I find happiness and connect with people — like my university campus, public libraries, churches, coffee shops, etc.,

I came across yet another interesting TED Talk on how to use creative writing to bear witness. Writer Sakinah Hofler puts forward the case that writing is a tool to help you process difficult memories and reclaim the power you hold.

She helped me re-imagine the magic of picking up a pen or a keyboard to unburden my mind and inspire reflection.

Generally, LinkedIn helped me realise the number of reads a simple idea or reflection put forward to public eyes could get in a day.

But while I might not advocate for everyone to become a public writer, I hope you find the idea from this article inspiring to bring your creativity to the public using the internet.

Hold on, reading this through now — I feel that the title would have been *2 TED Talks that helped me become a writer* But again, that is one thing with creativity — loads of options and many ways to do it right.

Photo credit: Author


Many thanks for reading my perspective and giving feedback.

My fervent wish is for the personal growth of everyone and the success of all young professionals who put their hearts and souls into finding their purpose in life.

Copyright © Ekene Moses, 2023. All Rights Reserved.

Connect with me on LinkedIn

Disclaimer: Although this article is strongly based on research, be mindful that this is my opinion.

Photo credit: Put me back together by John Roedel

I assume you know what these two forms of Voice over Internet Protocol (VoIP), also called IP telephony, are. However, this is what they mean to me -

TikTok

TikTok is a form of Voice over Internet Protocol (VoIP) platform. The interphase is built to enable users to host various short-form user videos from genres like pranks, stunts, tricks, jokes, dance, and entertainment, with durations of up to 15 seconds.

Twitter

On the other hand, Twitter is a microblogging and social networking service where users post and interact with messages known as “tweets”. These Tweets were initially restricted to just 140 characters, but as of November 2017, the limit was doubled to 280 characters. However, audio and video tweets remain limited to just 140 seconds.

So what is the issue…

A case of fragmented attention and ADHA

Read this — A neuroscientist Dr Daniel Levitin discovered that the human brain does not have the capacity to multitask. But in fact, what we actually do is — Every time we shift our attention from one thing to another, the brain has to engage a neurochemical switch that uses up nutrients in the brain to accomplish that. And this act depletes our neural resources.

Another interesting finding by Manoush Zomorodi informs that a decade ago, we shifted our attention at work every three minutes. Now we do it every 45 seconds, and we do it all day long.

Her findings further state that the average person in a first-world country, according to her research, checks email 74 times a day and switches tasks on their computer 566 times a day.

The link between the business model of VoIPs like TikTok and Twitter is their effects and unidirectional relationship with Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) because we are forced to develop a fragmented attention span.

This affects people’s behaviour, causes them to seem restless, and may have trouble concentrating or may often act on impulse — according to United Kingdom’s National Health Service.

Another piece of information from Manoush Zomorodi further provides that researchers at USC on the interactions between humans and devices have found — most studying teenagers (in their clinical study) who are on social media while they’re talking to their friends or doing homework, two years down the road, are less creative and imaginative about their own personal futures and about solving societal problems.

‘Things never happen one-sided. It always has both ends’ — Alma Julius

While the limited-short content that these platforms provide us forces us to have fragmented attention — they, on the other hand, equip creators to be succinct and concise creative content creators. There may also be more underlying advantages of these platforms other than the obvious ones.

However, I am simply concerned about the long-run generational effects – will humans still be able to focus for undistracted 2 hours in the next decade to come?


Many thanks for reading my perspective and giving feedback.

My fervent wish is for the personal growth of everyone and the success of all young professionals who put their hearts and souls into finding their purpose in life.

Copyright © Ekene Moses, 2023. All Rights Reserved.

Connect with me on LinkedIn

A continuation of — When It Is Not Sharing Too Much Personal Information Online.

Photo by Maryia Plashchynskaya on Pexel

Before we can get over understanding the enormous power of sharing our thoughts that online platforms equipped us with not too many years ago and the excitement that releases flushes of dopamine that come with it, there is a problem that it has introduced.

A problem that grows to a degree just equivalent to the speed at which the spread of online information and the introduction of more new platforms regularly occur. No, this is not a problem of misinformation, hate speech, crimes, etc.; instead, it is a problem of the right amount of information to share online.

When I started exposing myself to social media as a teenager, I remember it was about fun, trend, and curiosity. But now, social media serve teenagers as a voice of expression, a means to make money, gain and grow followers, a trend, and where you can be bullied by anybody (not just school bullies).

As I stated in this article, ‘When It Is Not Sharing Too Much Personal Information Online.’ — The standard advice you find online on what not to share and keep silent instead is your finances, your love life, and your next move.

I digressed by asking questions like, As a salary earner, will a hater advise my boss that I am being paid too much? Or lousy mouth me in front of my lover to the point of falling out of love? Or lastly, tell people not to buy from me if I share that I am starting a new business or travelling to a new country?’ Knowing the logical common sense behind this idea of keeping these three levels of personal information secret is to avoid haters.

So I declared there is no such thing as sharing too much personal information online. A point I plan to defend over and over again in the years to come.

Because generally, it appears that the reason society perceives some events as bragging or sharing too much personal information is that society unconsciously has been built to keep what is positive information secret. Like finances, love life, adventure, happiness, etc., So in contrast, this introduces the clear-cut that there is nothing like bragging, except when you tell lies in an attempt to self-promote.

However, I suggest not sharing personal information that will expose you to any form of risks, physical, mental, financial, etc. And by doing this, you have not in any way shared too much personal information online.

Conversely, from the engagements from people in the article and with the help of my reflection, I observe that anything posted online is a considerable amount of information to share by default.

I can post as simple as a full stop (.) or an emoji (😁) online and still get the same portion of positive and negative engagements as the person that posted a long text. These negative reactions could come from online police who interrogate what people share on their personal pages and then from analysts who, from that little information, can say a load of what is happening in the post creator’s personal life.

Though these are the least of the threats of what is faced by sharing anything online, this made me ask the question — ‘How Much Amount of Guts Does it Take To Share Anything Online?’

What baffles me are the online record keepers who have screenshots of things people published years even after, in some cases, when the author had deleted them.

I would have loved to ask if they knew these things would be relevant in the future. Or do people take screenshots of everything and save them in their online drives or clouds, just in case? But then, that is why I refer to them as online police and record keepers.

We all need a huge amount of guts to share anything online because it is most surprising that the online police and record keepers could keep a record of posts that seemed harmless at the time of posting. I wonder if they knew from the beginning that the authors would someday eventually swallow or delete their words. Or, more seriously, do people just lie in wait for other people’s scandals online?

For these reasons, I want to extend my suggestions from the previous article on the right amount of personal information to share online and the amount of guts needed. Be sure that you can own up to anything you share online in the future before you publish, even if it is a full stop. And, if you are unsure you can, let it go.

Though I am an advocate of change that acknowledges that people have the potential to grow and evolve, this article is to serve as a gentle reminder that the ***INTERNET NEVER FORGETS***.

Who knows, I might come up with another new perspective to this body of argument and discourse. But until then, please leave your opinion in the comment section. I promise I will not hold you to this in the future.


Many thanks for reading my perspective and giving feedback.

My fervent wish is for the personal growth of everyone and the success of all young professionals who put their hearts and souls into finding their purpose in life.

Copyright © Ekene Moses, 2023. All Rights Reserved.

Connect with me on LinkedIn

Or, rather, what is the Right Amount of Personal Information to share online?

Photo by Monstera on Pexel

The common advice you find online on what not to share and keep silent instead is your finances, your love life, and your next move. However, these are mostly posted by an influencer that has probably shared what they earned last month, a picture with a lover on vacation, or the next content to post or a place to travel.

Logically, the common sense behind this is to avoid haters. This makes me wonder if, as a salary earner, a hater will advise my boss that I am being paid too much. Or lousy mouth me in front of my lover to the point of falling out of love. Or lastly, tell people not to buy from me if I share that I am starting a new business or traveling to a new country.

It has been presumed that a person’s sharing of personal information, specifically good news — even just once, disqualifies its occurrence from positive protection. But could this mean influencers who drum this advice are immune to these calamities?

Society demands we share more about ourselves but nothing about ourselves because any information about us is something required from us and equally a source of criticism for us.

I have equally experienced how what is allowed to be shared and not attract criticism is segregated by class and the popularity of different individuals. A common example is that culturally Nigerians find nothing wrong with you posting a gift from a loved one or family online, which is ideal in almost every culture.

However, when Florence Otedola (AKA DJ Cuppy), the daughter of Nigerian billionaire businessman, Femi Otedola, shared that she received a surprise gift of a country house worth £5,000,000 from her father last year, November 2023. She received a lot of backlash. Hate speeches targeted at her, name it, etc., But this did not offend any of the three categories of things we should not share online.

Culturally, she deserved congratulatory messages, which she did not get. Because this is a country house, and she is the daughter of a billionaire, which narrows the categories of things she is allowed to share online for her.

This is an example of an instance where what we are allowed to share is not just presumed positive protection of the occurrence but that of the society being subtly jealous or, rather, scared of being made jealous in masses.

A point I argued elaboratively in this article, ‘When It Is Not Bragging Or Rather What Separates Confidence From Arrogance. There I stated that there is nothing like bragging if everything you self-promote about yourself is true. We simply have not to find ourselves in scenarios where being in the wrong company or communicating the wrong information could fetch one the bragging label.

Generally, it appears that the reason society perceives some events as bragging or sharing too much personal information is that society unconsciously has been built to keep what is positive information secret. Like finances, love life, adventure, happiness, etc., So in contrast, this introduces the clear-cut that there is nothing like bragging, except when you tell lies in an attempt to self-promote.

Neither is there such a thing as sharing too much personal information. If not, why did Bill Gates share with the world in his newsletter December 2022: The Year Ahead 2023 — titled: The future our grandchildren deserve, that his daughter is pregnant and that he is expecting to be a granddad without receiving the caution like any elated aged expectant grandad would have?

Before I wrote my first content on Medium, I spent weeks, if not months, writing and telling people about how I wanted to start content writing online. When I published my first article, it received a warm welcome from many online and personal friends. In the same way, when I wanted to travel out of my country, I shared so much about it online, to the point that I even got friends that helped me settle down in the new country before I even arrived.

The caution or focus surrounding sharing personal information online should be to ensure that what you share is personal and not about a friend or family member unless you have explicit consent or approval. In addition, do not tell lies about yourself, friends, or family in an attempt to self-promote. Otherwise, it will not be considered as sharing too much personal information but as plain bragging and inappropriate behaviour.

Lastly, do not share personal information that will expose you to any form of risks, physical, mental, financial, etc.; similarly, I urge you to bear these points of mine in mind before cautioning anyone about sharing too much personal information online as you could just be jealous, about to be or simply complying to the societal norm which is to keep the positive news secret.

I announce a new job, promotion, new idea, or just anything I find interesting. And I hope to find a community of like-minded people.


Many thanks for reading my perspective and giving feedback.

My fervent wish is for the personal growth of everyone and the success of all young professionals who put their hearts and souls into finding their purpose in life.

Copyright © Ekene Moses, 2023. All Rights Reserved.

Connect with me on LinkedIn

A Reflective Essay.

Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels

I like to call it ‘Arrogance’ instead of pride. This is because we all have pride within us to protect, which can be positive or negative. Although tilting far towards too negative angle turns it into arrogance.

But that does not rule out that there are many forms of bragging. Although most reasonable people would agree that some forms of speaking and acting in contempt or deprecate ways are always wrong, other forms that society refers to as bragging are less clear-cut.

In this article, though, I choose to call it an essay. I shall look at what separates confidence from arrogance. Distinguish between positive and negative pride. And finally, draw upon my reflections to raise awareness about why bragging is misperceived from a societal point of view and to challenge you to do the same before you label anyone as braggadocio.

Bragging has probably existed since the beginning of time, and certainly as the religious Holy Books, where both Bible and Quran condemn it in many scriptures. All religions regard bragging as wrong, so you would think there were universally understood principles about what is bragging and what is not. However, this is not the case.

This is also the case with many other ethical issues (right and wrong scenarios) like stealing, lying, etc... Despite this long-standing agreement that bragging is wrong, many people brag. In fact, it is very common, so it is worth considering why this has persisted for so long.

The psychological reason is that people engage in self-promotional behaviour because they want others to hold favourable images of them. Self-promotion entails a trade-off between conveying one’s positive attributes and being seen as bragging.

If placed in between this tiny trade-off of one’s positive attributes and being seen as bragging, I perceive that the power shifts from personal ethical judgements and reasoning to how the next person in the room rationality of what bragging is. Like stealing or lying, most sound conscience people could feel irked when doing these wrongs. But not the case with bragging.

Dirty debaters or haters could use this label to destroy another person in an argument or in the eyes of others since they can call it bragging when they feel like it. Usually done by twisting information presented by the other by misrepresenting what they have said. And when they try to draw back to their original discourse, they declare the other as proud, arrogant, boastful, or bragging.

Or could it also be that society does not like any form of self-promotion, whether it comes as conveying one’s positive attributes or bragging? For instance, ‘Humblebragging’ — is defined as “bragging masked by a complaint or humility”. This study finds that it actually makes people like you less than straight-up self-promotion, the research says.

The researchers conducted experiments to see how people responded to humblebrags, focusing on the bragger’s perceived likability and competence. They found that regular bragging was better on both counts because it at least comes off as genuine. Even complainers were more likeable and seemed more competent than humblebraggers of any type.

I draw on this to posit that if you want to announce something, be confident enough to go with the brag and at least own your self-promotion and reap the rewards of being sincere rather than losing in all dimensions.

Consequentially, there is nothing like bragging if everything you self-promote about yourself is true. At the same time, I am not able to draw a straight line between the trade-off of conveying one’s positive attributes (positive bragging) and being seen as bragging (negative bragging). I perceive that telling lies or overly hyped self-promotion of one’s competency or achievements should be the only thing worthy of a societal label of being called a brag, arrogant, proud, or boastful.

Also, what about using candour (the ability to be open and honest in expression; frankness of even weaknesses) to self-promote yourself? Where I can tell someone the far distance I travel to work every day in order for them to hold favourable judgments for my lateness. Or instead of telling the beautiful girl at the park how rich I am, which most other guys do, I can choose to tell her how hard I hustle and my humble beginning.

The reason these two examples are not perceived as bragging is that society unconsciously has been built to keep what is positive information secret. Like finances, love life, adventure, happiness, etc., So in contrast, this introduces the clear-cut that there is nothing like bragging, except when you tell lies in an attempt to self-promote.

Better yet, get somebody else to “wingman” your boasting. If someone brags for you, that’s the best thing to happen to you because you don’t seem like you’re bragging.

Another scenario where society draws the bragging label is when you are in the wrong company or communicating the wrong information. In my case, talking about the books, I have read or the content I have produced is something I find comfortable doing. Since I am absolutely honest with them and doing so demonstrates my credibility — the reason you should read my content and, secondly, promote my content.

However, I have had a share of people labelling this source of personal pride of competence and achievement as me bragging. When I try to express myself further or defend myself, I receive the second label, ‘arrogant or proud’.

But this is not the case when I am in the midst of fellow writers, curious minds, academics and researchers. In fact, the discussion usually seems like a subtle competition of who has read the most or written the most. Nevertheless, I sense the uncomfortable sensations from people when someone in the group mentions something about vacation, money, or a partner if any of those does not link properly to the topic.

This is a scenario where being in the wrong company or communicating the wrong information could fetch you the bragging label. And if you agree with me that in the club of millionaires and billionaires, talking about money and vacation is the norm, then I must be right.

As a society, especially confident people should not have to lose their voices because of the public's interest, resulting from us being unconsciously programmed to keep positive information secret. Suppose society has a moral concern about bragging. In that case, they will label all the scenarios I highlighted as bragging and have universally understood principles about what is bragging and what is not.

I know this is an interesting debate topic that will doubtless continue for many years. So, not everyone will agree with the arguments presented in this article. However, I urge you to bear these points of mine in mind before labelling anyone a brag.


Many thanks for reading my perspective and giving feedback.

My fervent wish is for the personal growth of everyone and the success of all young professionals who put their hearts and souls into finding their purpose in life.

Copyright © Ekene Moses, 2023. All Rights Reserved.

Connect with me on LinkedIn

As rightly written by Fr Kelvin Ugwu, 'The biggest advantage of online news is also its biggest disadvantage. The fact that you can get information quickly and easily is a significant advantage. That is also a disadvantage because you can get the wrong information easily and quickly.'

For people who seek treasure from the ocean (internet) but find that just like the ocean is facing plastic pollution, oil spills, and acidification, the internet is facing misinformation, fake news, and cyberbullying. The ability to categorise online content will make participating in and digesting online content much easier.

Let me distinguish between storytelling, news, opinion/reaction, and analysis/information. Knowing the difference between these types of online content is something most people find difficult at first. But it is very easy with little or no critical thinking skills required.

1. Storytelling contents

Start by understanding that beyond the catchy titles, sometimes it is less serious than you think. It is just an online friend trying to tell you a story in written form.

This form of online content could have links to tangible kinds of stuff like popular places or celebrities. Still, the content creator only has one purpose in mind: to share a story to engage you and stimulate your mind positively or negatively.

You can sometimes read a story that narrates the writer's experience at a particular place or with a famous person, which could be awful or awesome — but that is not enough to draw perception because the purpose of storytelling is to leave the reader thinking a certain way by deliberately removing or adding bits to spice it up.

However, we are social beings and, most times, need these stories to simulate our minds just like we engage with any other form of creative artwork.

Funnily, well-written online stories easily go viral on the right platform, like Facebook & Twitter.

2. News: What happened.

It could be put in another way — News: events happened.

News writers are skilled professionals who possess intelligence and undergo training to extract significance, draw inferences, and arrive at conclusions based on facts. Regardless of their personal stance, they are bound by the responsibility to present objective information without freely expressing their own opinions or thoughts in straightforward news reporting.

The individuals behind the production of news content are primarily journalists who work for news organizations. Their expertise lies in assimilating factual information and utilizing their comprehension to simplify complex subjects, thereby facilitating the public's understanding of the news.

However, to get the most out of online news, you need to weigh the credibility of the news source and read from different news companies. This is because journalists are also trained to identify the prevailing perspective on a subject and provide news based on an alternative perspective, just as we saw during the global Covid_19 pandemic and the current Russian/Ukraine war.

3. Opinion/reaction: A thought of someone about something.

If put in another way: Here’s what I think about events that happened.

Meaning that anyone, you, me, and even my grandparents in a village in Africa, can write their opinion and put it online.

However, this is important because not everyone is an expert, but many non-experts (or non-expert writers) have something important to say about an event. In addition, every voice is important to understanding events.

The worthwhile caution is — while opinion content voices a point of view, it must not misrepresent other points of view.

4. Analysis/information: An expert explores facts and draws conclusions to inform what happened and why.

If put in another way, this informs — facts or topics could/can be understood this way.

Anyone can stand in as an expert and write about how a fact or a topic could be understood. However, this should consider a lot of thoughts and implications, usually through studies and experiences to come up with.

Society (readers) wants to understand what events mean and/or broaden their knowledge on topics. Society wants to read (consume) online content from differing scopes.

While sometimes, we want to have an understanding of a topic area from an expert and have it explained to us why the expert thinks so and how we can do our own further studies on the topic.

This point changes an analysis or information content to what readers seeking information want to find and not what a writer wants to tell them, like in the case of opinion/reaction content.

Therefore, a writer seeking to create analysis or informative content should at least have experience, knowledge and other backgrounds which they use to interpret a matter. I don’t think you have to be a professor of finance to write about finance or cryptocurrency, but at least be an investor that follows the market and trends closely. And not just someone that writes because it is trendy — if not, you are just sharing your opinion or reacting, thank you very much.

An analysis or informative writer should not include their own opinion because they are standing in a position similar to professional teachers.

Conclusion

To consume online content, we must know what we are reading. We must not think we are reading analysis when we have opinionated online content, nor think we are reading the news when we have storytelling in front of us.

I labelled my title ‘How Not To Read Trash Online,’ now that you have finished reading, could you tell me in the comment section the kind of content this is? I am curious to learn what you think…

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels


I am trying to build a community of wonderful people who hear from and interact actively with me — I would be happy to welcome you to the group.

Hope to see you there! Please scroll down and subscribe…


Many thanks for reading my perspective and giving feedback.

My fervent wish is for the personal growth of everyone and the success of all young professionals who put their hearts and souls into finding their purpose in life.

Copyright © Ekene Moses, 2023. All Rights Reserved.

In most African countries, there is always this underlying pressure when one is migrating abroad for whatsoever reasons which warn, “We don't expect to see you soon, and we do not mind; however, we expect to see you doing 100 per cent better in all areas of your life anytime that you may finally decide to come home.”

Nevertheless, you do not expect this to be clearly stated. In fact, no one mentions it, although it could be deduced from various advice provided by family and well-wishers. Thus, it is rarely discussed or acknowledged in our society.

Also, most of these countries fall under high power distances and highly collectivistic societies; according to Hofstede's cultural dimensions theory, the individual travelling abroad is not only travelling for him/herself but for everybody.

Mine happened in 2019 when I got an International Exchange Scholarship that first took me to Spain. From there, I relocated to the United Kingdom. During the cause of these years of studying full-time and being self-sponsored, there was no time to even think about visiting home or executing it.

So I managed to live as though a home is a place we go to, not a place we belong. I convinced myself and those around me that it is normal culturally for Africans to spend more years overseas without visiting home.

I like to observe the unbelievable yet surprising realisation stare when I inform a classmate or colleague that I have not visited home to see my family since I came to England.

So, I am elated to share that I was finally able to take a holiday to travel home to Nigeria – two weeks ago.

When I was going, I was filled with excitement but, at the same time, nervous regarding all the changes I was about to experience. And how hugely my lifestyle must have changed with that of my family members.

There are core cultural and family values that I tried to hold dear over the years. I had written about them to constantly remind myself not to trade them during my interactive assimilation with English culture.

It was a cultural shock to realise that students can call their teachers by their first names in Europe. I never subscribed because I knew how ill-mannered this could be perceived in my culture. I called my lecturers, prefixing their titles before their first names - 'Dr this and Prof. that.'

After I graduated and secured a graduate job, the struggle with this cultural show of respect came in the form of how best to address my older colleagues and not to talk more of my managers and top executives, which I have seen my colleagues calling by their first names.

A week after starting my new role, I wrote about this in a LinkedIn post. I manage this cultural difference by using 'Mr. this and Mrs. that.' since I could not use 'Sir. and Ma'am' typically used in my country. By the way, pay attention to the 'ma'am' and not 'madam' as madam on itself could also be perceived as a 'rude disrespect' in my culture. However, with the complexities of identities and how seriously the issue is taken in the West, I soon succumbed to calling people by their first names.

With time I realised that in the West, your parents and probably closely related extended families are the only ones who, by bond entitlement, deserve titles instead of their names. But every other person is an individual with a name and deserves to be addressed by one instead of a title.

However, in Nigeria, names are sacred and reserved for those of the same demographic social class (colleagues of similar age brackets, classmates or agemates, and someone obviously younger than you). Other than this, a person's name is taboo to be addressed with.

Another dimension I paid attention to is using my left hand to give or receive something from someone. Culturally, this is not only rude but very disrespectful. As a left-handed child, I was beaten out of it to the point of being reflectively aware of using my right hand.

In England, I almost revived my use of my left hand as my default hand. I comfortably started using my left hand to operate my computer mouse and to give and receive something from someone. After all, nobody cares about this trivial protocol in England.

These were my two major cultural checklists. I was happy that I consciously had them under check. To the point that a month before I travelled, I would wake up to remind myself this was my right hand, and this was my left.

Nevertheless, the dimensions I was measured with, of how my cultural awareness has changed and influenced by the English one, were both surprising and forlorn.

It appears that for someone like me, a different yardstick is needed. The things I thought they'd praise me for upholding were acknowledged, but still, they needed more. For instance, I am someone of high moral standards, and I have a personally varied definition of the virtues that makes me a moral person and to live a free lifestyle which I wrote about in this article - I Travelled to England to Enjoy Freedom and Not for University Studies.

Instead, my hairstyle was significantly praised. Not because of a clean cut from my barber in England but because I still kept a haircut and not dreadlocks, braids, or other heavy-fashioned hairstyles like dying a different colour etc., Even though a clean-cut hairstyle was my style back in Nigeria before I left.

My personal presentation and appearance were another dimension I was judged with that disappointed me. By personal presentation, my family were happy. Still, they were astonished that I slept with them in our house instead of lodging at a hotel.

Similarly, using Nigerian public transport didn't go very well with them. They argued that they were concerned about my safety – as if the bad guys could tell those that came from overseas from the rest of the passengers. I know they must have considered my comfort, too, but could not admit it. So, I simply remind them that I seldom use taxi or Uber services in England – why then, by default, just use them in Nigeria?

Also, most people were not impressed with my outfits. They called it 'simplicity'. Since they thought coming from England, I should always style branded clothes.

Even as I write, this dimension makes me smile silently as it reminds me of one of Chinua Achebe's popular books - 'No Longer at Ease.' How in Chapter 2, the people of Umuofia Progressive Union, who sponsored Obi's (the main character in the novel) education in England, were disappointed with how he dressed so casually at their welcome party for him after studying and spending four years like me in England. Because before now, I thought of events like that as fairytales only read in books or seen in Nigerian Nollywood movies.

Lastly, I was labelled a 'gentle man' even before I left. But coming back, I have gained a disappointing prefix to this 'The British Gentle Man.' I wonder why my gentility had to be attributed to another culture.

I was constantly reminded of how a place like Nigeria does not deserve the level of my gentility. For this reason, my elder brother volunteered to always go everywhere with me.

Nevertheless, most of the few times I went to places alone, I did just fine and bought things at the actual price – even cheaper than expected. They believed I would be gullible to the Nigerian market's unregulated product and service prices. So, I used these events to prove that nothing is wrong with the unwavering lifestyle that I have disagreed to fully credit to England. Still, a lot needs to be corrected with their expectations and assumptions of overseas.

It could be that young folks from this culture who travel overseas succumb to these subconscious expectations of people back home. Which, even though they disapprove, they unconsciously welcome. And could this scenario be how new cultures are born and upheld?

Photo credit: Author (A picture of author and family)


Many thanks for reading my perspective and giving feedback.

My fervent wish is for the personal growth of everyone and the success of all young professionals who put their hearts and souls into finding their purpose in life.

Copyright © Ekene Moses, 2023. All Rights Reserved.

Connect with me on LinkedIn

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels

I read from someone’s post that online presence is the new OIL.

To be more explicit, this person is coming from a crude oil-producing country. So to must have linked active social media engagement and presence to the money generated from crude oil is not that shocking.

Since the birth of the Internet, which now wrestles shoulder to shoulder with any top global industry to almost surpassing level, and the complimentary advent of Social Media, the interactive technologies that facilitate the creation and sharing of everything — ranging from information, ideas, opinions, interests, and other forms of expression through virtual communities and networks. Mainly, individuals and organisations are utilising these platforms to share information and engage with the public.

While already existing celebrities like **[Christiano Ronaldo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CristianoRonaldo) bring their fame to the spotlight on the Internet, every day we witness a growing emergence of regular people like the famous TikToker Khaby Lame **_(that started Tiktok sometime in 2020 but now has over 142m followers as of June 2022) turning into celebrities through the Internet — most people just use the Internet for other primary reasons like connecting with family and friends, following trends, reading news, and even very increasingly searching for jobs.

Although we can argue that most platforms are now filled with AI and robots that respond to messages — in most cases, Social Media platforms are full of people from one end of the world communicating with people on the other end. But like in every human communication, it involves the sender and the receiver — and with one having the upper influence.

Recently, I have been on a quest to experiment what a genuine modern-day human connection really is, especially now that we are all primarily Internet-connected. For that reason, I decided to open myself up more to the public by minimising the security levels on my social media handles and accepting connection requests from people even without a single mutual connection.

“I think that everything that surrounds us has some hidden logic” — Josep Ferrer

After one year of this experiment, my discovery so far led me to publish this and to come up with this observation that can help a person be a better social media direct chatter.

Let’s go…

Understand that you are not the only one.

I started with this quick reminder because every other point that I will raise after this will make more sense having this in mind.

Whatsoever the nudge may be to quickly send that connection request, add that comment, post that content, or even send that direct message — pause to remind yourself that you are not the only one to whom this same thought might have occurred to.

Apply this framework

I am not claiming to be a celebrity or anywhere near one, but recently I have received many connection requests on my Social Media accounts, especially on Facebook and LinkedIn. Remember, I recently experimented with social-human connections using the internet, so I accept all requests. Then I observed a common mass error that made me reflect on my unique approach that I used to get the attention of most of my celebrities to respond to my direct messages or at least engage with my comment on their posts. The error is that immediately after connections, people tend to quickly go to the DM and write ‘Hi, hello, or hey’, and that is it…

Contrarily, observing this framework is the best way to send a direct message to anyone for the first time, whether a celebrity or a regular person.

Framework: Them — You—What Next…

This is simply by bringing to their attention what resonated more with you with their lifestyle, a particular post, or their content. Or as simple as appreciating or acknowledging them — A ‘Them’ Factor

A screenshot of me direct messaging one of the Professors that I admire so much in my field of interest

Take notice of the dates and how I did not send multiple messages after this!

Introduce yourself. This should not be a pitch or a lengthy biography about your life. However, it should still be succinct and captivating enough to capture interest. Remember — everyone is busy, they are busier than you thought, and again, you are not the only one — The ‘You’ Factor.

A direct message from me introducing myself in a way that connects our interests

What next is very tricky because, in most cases, it is optional, although very helpful. Especially if your reason for sending the direct message is to seek assistance or information from the person. I have just thought of what you could say to a celebrity as your ‘What Next Factor’ and came up with these:

a) I am interested in football, acting, music, writing etc... What advice would you have for a younger generation like me?

b) I have been following the information your company posts on their handles, and I am very keen to know more. I hope you do not mind sharing the kind of employees that your company is always looking for? etc

Final thoughts

Although this framework has worked multiple times for me, please acknowledge that individual differences are also there. Some celebrities do not engage with their followers or even follow anyone — so get ready for rejections or everlasting unread messages. 

Furthermore, remember that these are all people. And, people feel comfortable around those who share the same interests and/or values as them — so go on to engage with their posts, like, comment your opinion, and engage with other followers in the comment section. This will even make it easier to get a response when you DM them applying this framework.


Many thanks for reading my perspective and giving feedback.

My fervent wish is for the personal growth of everyone and the success of all young professionals who put their hearts and souls into finding their purpose in life.

Copyright © Ekene Moses, 2023. All Rights Reserved.

Connect with me on LinkedIn

Or Rather, How I Built Discipline and Resilience Over Time.

Photo by Graham Holtshausen on Unsplash

Writing about my chronic childhood laziness will definitely surprise all my adult friends who met the disciplined, committed, and hardworking me.

But yes, I used to be a very lazy boy who liked sleeping, playing with his toys, and watching movies. And I wouldn't say I liked any form of house chores. Even though, as the fourth child, I had nothing much left to do except wash the dirty dishes. Which on a good evening, I could fly until around 11 pm until my mother or older siblings would pity my poor self and bail me out.

I decided to write about this to offer help to someone struggling with this ill trait, which is often not discussed in society. So, reflecting on how I took my childhood laziness to my teenage years and how automatically I eliminated it at some point amazes me.

Taking particular consideration that culturally, not all male children from my background outgrow their childhood laziness. For example, most men grow up needing to learn how to maintain good hygiene, clean, or cook a decent meal for themselves.

Though, it seems laziness and poor hygiene are peculiar to most men regardless of cultural background. I am stating this without any intention to derogate men. But I was amazed to find from this report that in the UK, Half of single men only change their sheets once every FOUR months.

Despicable Me Wallpapers Photo From Filmofilia

Collectively, my intention in this article is to employ the steps that I perceive reflectively helped me overcome my laziness to introduce practical solutions to eliminate laziness for personal development and replace it with the skills of discipline and resilience.

1 — Intentionality and Purposeful Living

I knew I could do better academically as a boy because my older siblings were high flyers. But my laziness could not allow me to perform above average.

However, everything changed one day when I answered a question that no one had answers to — even the most intelligent ones in the class. After tasting what it feels like to be acknowledged and be in the spotlight, I went home that day with a resolution to always stand out academically in school from then.

So, I knew it was time to intentionally adjust all areas of my life to achieve this purpose. By the way, I could answer the question because I heard my older siblings, who were over three classes ahead of me, discussing it the night before, and not like I was a genius.

The magic discovery is that if you have an active purpose you are working towards completing, you will understand just how dangerous laziness is. From hence, I discovered that an actual display of intelligence should reflect not just in performing well academically in school but in every other area of your life.

As an adult, moving my focus towards what is essential instead of the loophole of instant gratification and indulgence helps me overcome adulthood forms of laziness like mindless scrolling on devices, watching films, binge eating, etc., which usually becomes an addiction.

2 — Reading

Since the cure to my laziness started from the desire to be intelligent, reading became a vital aspect of my life.

So, similar to most people who love reading, personal development and self-help books are popular book genres mostly read globally. It is difficult to determine the most read book genre as it can vary greatly depending on various factors such as geographical location, age group, cultural background, etc.

Through cultivating the habit of reading, I realised that I could not be perfect, but I can be an excellent human being in most areas of my life.

I also discovered that generally, the foundational knowledge of most self-help/personal development books is helping their readers answer these questions:

  1. Keep their eyes on the Prize.

  2. Think about what can be lost.

  3. Find the root cause.

  4. Just do it!

Here is an article of mine on How to Read More Books in 3 Months Than You Have in 3 Years.

3 — Made Mentors

‘Mentorism’ is simply seeking advice and direction from someone you trust and respect.

Over time, I have seen that pretty soon, the line between them giving you advice and doing you a favour by helping you improve in that aspect of your life you needed their opinion on disappears.

On the other hand, you will notice that you will start closing the line of simply taking advice and direction into trying to impress your mentor. Gradually, this eliminates laziness in that area of life.

How this can be beneficial to adults is to seek mentorship in as many areas of life that you often need to be more active and work on.

Closing thoughts

Things that work will work well when acted upon. In that case, no desire to overcome laziness could eliminate it if the individual is not intentional about living a purposeful life, acquiring knowledge, and having people in their lives to impress and make them proud.

However, although laziness is just a lifestyle of constantly doing so little and procrastinations, which is not a big problem at all — generationally, a life of discipline and dedication to a cause has been more fulfilling and led to a happy life.


Many thanks for reading my perspective and giving feedback. Click_ Discuss…

My fervent wish is for the personal growth of everyone and the success of all young professionals who put their hearts and souls into finding their purpose in life.

Copyright © Ekene Moses, 2023. All Rights Reserved.

Connect with me on LinkedIn